


The long road home

by walshisaweedbrain



Category: Motherland: Fort Salem (TV)
Genre: F/F, Light Angst with Happy Ending, alternative universe, gay pining, hints of tally/gerit, mostly raylla centric, the other couples are just functional to the story, very little of them so bear with me pls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:48:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26677702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/walshisaweedbrain/pseuds/walshisaweedbrain
Summary: Scylla never stays for long.It’s a truth that Raelle has learned to accept through the years, to the point that it’s a weird feeling to have Scylla around for more than a few days.Raelle doesn’t mind it one bit though. Quite the opposite, she hates the dread at the pit of her stomach every time she has to say goodbye to Scylla.And while Scylla feels more than lucky to be able to call the whole world her home, sometimes she wishes she could just call Raelle that.OrScylla travels around the world and Raelle cannot help but wish for her to stay AU
Relationships: Raelle Collar/Scylla Ramshorn
Comments: 16
Kudos: 96





	The long road home

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there!
> 
> This is my first one shot in the Motherland fandom and I pray it goes well. 
> 
> Being an AU the relationships between the characters might be a bit different from the ones in the show and, even though I tried to be mostly faithful to the characters, it is possible to find some of them a bit ooc. 
> 
> In the end notes you can also find a 'box' of curiosities about certain details of the story, if you're interested to know more about it :')
> 
> A couple of disclaimers: 
> 
> \- I don't own the show or the characters
> 
> \- This is purely a work of fiction and should be taken as such
> 
> \- None of this is meant to offend or damage anyone
> 
> Enjoy!

Scylla never stays for long. 

It’s a truth that Raelle has learned to accept through the years, to the point that it’s a weird feeling to have Scylla around for more than a few days. 

Raelle doesn’t mind it one bit though. Quite the opposite, she hates the dread at the pit of her stomach every time she has to say goodbye to Scylla. 

And every time she’s ushering Scylla inside the small apartment she has in Raleigh, it feels like it’s already time to let her go again. 

The time with Scylla is dearly cherished and Raelle ticks away the days in her daily planner - _Tally's gift, of course_ \- when she knows that Scylla is about to come back. 

At times, Scylla stays away for months, but when she returns she always has new places to show Raelle around. Tally even asks her who’s the real North Carolina native because Scylla always comes prepared and full of surprises. She knows secrets hiking spots, the newest restaurants in town — which all happen to have at least one of Raelle’s favorite dishes — and, to Raelle’s absolute joy, which new museum exhibitions are around. 

And perhaps it shouldn’t mean much, because she’s still leaving every time, but it means everything to Raelle. Because Scylla is also always coming back, she knows. 

But it doesn’t make it any easier to hug her goodbye, the lingering smell of her shampoo invading Raelle’s nostrils — Scylla laughs every time Raelle tells her that she smells like pine or the wet ground after rain — and closing the door behind her back. 

If a few tears run down her cheeks when the apartment is fully emptied of Scylla’s presence, Raelle thinks it’s her business alone. 

*******

Tally is supposed to join them the next time that Scylla is in town, but a last-minute shift at work has her blocked and Scylla only shrugs. 

“I don’t mind being just the two of us.”

Raelle smiles at her and doesn’t even notice her fingers curling in Scylla’s hand to tug her just a bit closer. 

Scylla drives them to William B. Umstead State Park, refusing Raelle’s attempt to take her place, claiming that it’s her free weekend from the hospital shifts and she should just doze off and relax. 

Raelle doesn’t think she could doze off even if she wanted too because no matter how quiet and calm, Scylla’s presence always manages to capture all of her attention. 

“Do I have something on my face?”

“What?” Raelle snaps back from her bubble, “Uh- no?”

Scylla spares her a glance but quickly returns her eyes to the road. 

“You were staring at me.”

And maybe it’s the early morning that still has her brain fuzzy, but Raelle refuses to filter her words. 

“You’re beautiful.”

Scylla doesn’t reply, but her cheeks flush red and there’s the hint of a shy smile curving her lips. 

They hike the whole day, only stopping for quick swims in the freezing cold river and a picnic under an oak-maple tree. Scylla almost falls asleep with her head on Raelle’s chest under the shade, if only Tally didn’t FaceTime them.

The redhead complains about being stuck at work, her dirty jumpsuit as proof, and Scylla tells her that there’s always next time. 

Tally grumbles, “As if I didn’t know that you prefer to have Raelle all for yourself.”

Scylla doesn’t defend herself from the playful accusation and Raelle pretends not to feel something warm swelling inside her chest. 

*******

Scylla loves waking up in different places almost every morning. She feels incredibly lucky to be able to call the whole world her home and to be on the receiving hand of its beauty. 

She hops from one job to the other, mostly helping out local people and selling pictures to magazines or blogs and doing some freelance journalism. She has always had a passion for botanics and Raelle used to joke about her obsession with mushrooms a lot. Going around the world gives her the chance to study at her own pace and discover the most unexpected things. Her jobs don’t usually pay a lot, but if it’s enough to keep her traveling going and providing some food, Scylla doesn’t complain. 

She doesn’t own much anyway and most of the things that she wants to keep are stored in a dresser at Byron’s house. She visits her cousin from time to time; him and his family were the ones to take care of Scylla after the death of her parents and she considers them her own family by now.

Scylla thinks it’s funny that she kind of owes to Byron her meeting of Raelle. When Byron’s long time boyfriend, Porter, asked him to move in together, Raelle was in desperate need of a roommate to share her apartment with. With both Tally away to finish her internship and Abigail in the army, the only choice appeared to be Scylla. 

Raelle was starting her residency at the hospital at the time and Scylla had just landed a temporary job in Raleigh that would allow her to save some money. Raelle didn’t even wait for Byron to actually introduce his cousin before accepting Scylla as a roommate for however time she wanted to. Claiming that as long as she had someone to share rent and utilities with she was good to go. 

Scylla didn’t think it would work at first. She was used to a quiet and almost empty space. She didn’t like to pile up things and loud noises. 

All the things that Raelle apparently was a pro at doing. With the music blasting whenever she had a free day, piles of clothes burying entire chairs and dishes in the sink, Scylla had legitimate concerns. 

But somehow they had been able to find their own routine. They slowly carved a space around the other to the point in which they just started to merge and naturally drift towards each other. Two routines almost becoming one as they got closer.

By the time Scylla finished her temporary job, Raelle had become the person she trusted and confided the most. And she knew that she didn’t want to share an apartment with anyone else or leave Raelle behind, but she itched to go. She wanted to travel and she knew that was a taken decision already.

If she thinks about it now, Scylla still doesn’t know how Raelle managed to trip over her tripod and books even when they were in the farthest corner of the room. 

But she also remembers how good it felt to lay on the couch, watching a movie only to have Raelle curled up and asleep against her side after the first twenty minutes, the tip of her nose grazing Scylla’s neck. 

When she thinks of Raleigh, she thinks about Raelle and their time together. 

And while Scylla feels more than lucky to be able to call the whole world her home, sometimes she wishes she could just call Raelle that. 

*******

Raelle thinks she’ll never stop hating waking up in the morning for an early shift, but she absolutely loves being a doctor. 

She thinks there’s something magical in being able to do what you love the most and — oh god — how much she has fought to get there. 

When med school seemed infinite, she always tried to think about the moment in which she would proudly call herself a doctor. 

Her dad couldn’t stop beaming at her graduation and Raelle tried not to cry thinking about how much she missed her mom there as well. 

But Tally and Abigail were there and Raelle knew when it was time to stop counting her blessings and cherish them, so she did just that. 

She was happy. She still is happy. 

She has a good job and a great reputation as a young doctor and Raleigh is great, not too far away that she misses her dad and close enough to bug Tally when she’s feeling lonely. 

Tally also never says anything when Raelle spends the first few nights at her house after Scylla leaves for a new exciting place. 

*******

“We should move back together.” 

Scylla stops stirring the sauce in the pot and turns to Raelle with a raised eyebrow, but Raelle just shrugs like it’s not a big deal and sips more of her red wine. 

“I just think it would be nice to have someone who knows how to cook properly around, you know.” 

Scylla chuckles, “I thought you hated living with me, that I was a freak control or whatever.”

Raelle rolls her eyes, the hint of blush in her cheeks indicating that she’s at least on her third glass of wine. 

“It took some adjustment, but we did just fine.” then her voice softens, “I could’ve never hated you, Scyl.”

Scylla bites her lower lip and raises her own glass, finishing it with a generous gulp. 

“Then maybe we should.” 

*******

Later that night, Scylla doesn’t think the conversation will come up again. 

She knows that Raelle means well, but she’s also doesn’t think she’s ready to put her roots somewhere specific yet. Paying for an apartment in Raleigh, while not living there for more than a few weeks in a row just seems an inconvenience to her. 

But when Raelle sneaks her arms around her waist, burying the face in the crook of her neck, Scylla thinks about having her own space. And what it would mean to go back home to Raelle. 

Isn’t that what she does every time she’s in Raleigh anyway? She’s not silly enough to think that those are random visits. She never goes to Tally or books a room for her own. It’s always Raelle she goes back to.

And maybe, if Scylla closes her eyes and just falls asleep through the cracks of the night, it won’t have to mean anything. 

But she turns around, the profile of Raelle’s delicate face barely visible in the dim lights coming from the window. She looks ethereal.

And suddenly Scylla is more aware that going back to Raelle is her favorite reason to come back. 

*******

She has to leave a couple of days after and Raelle hugs her tightly at the door, masking the tears that force their way down her cheeks. 

Scylla is not sure why this time seems harder to say goodbye, but she knows something has shifted. 

She wonders for a fleeting moment if Raelle will ever get tired of repeating this scene at the door, mumbling sweet “Please, let me know when you land.” and “Call me, even if you’re not sure what time is it here.”

But then Scylla whispers back an “Of course. Love you.” like each time, and Raelle tightens the hold on her neck, anchoring her to the spot as if the simple thought of Scylla leaving again was unbearable to her.

When she does let her leave, Scylla offers the biggest smile she can muster — after all, it’s still 4 a.m, she’s sleepy and dawn is not approaching yet — she leaves a kiss on Raelle’s cheek, telling her to go back to bed again and then disappears in the back of a cab. 

Raelle goes back to bed, but sleep doesn’t come easy when the pillow next to her smells of Scylla — it’s a new shampoo, honey and coconut — and hugging it doesn’t quite fill the hole in her chest. 

She gets up and throws a bunch of clothes, her comb and toothbrush in a duffel bag, then she grabs the spare key that Tally has given her for emergencies. 

She finds the last paperback that Scylla has brought with her on the coffee table. It’s not Scylla’s habit to leave her stuff around, she’s usually a meticulous packer, but she had been engrossed in the book until the last minute and she must’ve forgotten in the haze of the night. 

Raelle snaps a picture and quickly sends it to Scylla. 

— _You’ve forgotten thi_ s —

The reply arrives not even a minute later.

— _Keep it. It’s yours now. Maybe when you read it you can think of me_ —

And Raelle types — _I always think of you_ — but nights are made for saying things that you wouldn’t say in the morning and the first streaks of dawn are already coloring the sky. 

She deletes the message and just settles for — _Okay._ _Have a safe flight, enjoy Europe_ — 

Raelle takes the book and it shouldn’t be that big of a deal, it’s just a book, but Scylla wants her to have it. 

Somehow that makes all the difference. 

*******

“I just think it’s stupid, you know, and Adil is not my type anyway. It was just a quick fuck, I don’t know what he expects from me.” 

Abigail rambles between bites of fries and her burger, then stops when she follows the trail of Raelle’s gaze. 

“Why are you staring at that map of Norway?” 

“Uh? Sorry-” Raelle snaps back to reality, “Scylla was just there last week.” 

Abigail tilts her head to the side, toying with the straw of her coke.

“Yeah, cause that’s perfectly normal between two friends, right?”

“What?”

Abigail shakes her head at Raelle’s confusion. 

“Oh please Rae, when are you two going to figure your shit out?”

“There’s nothing to figure out, Bell, what are you on abou-”

“Good god help me! Can’t you just confess each other your feelings and move forwards like adults do?”

Raelle huffs in annoyance, “Can you stop with this thing? We’re just good friends.”

“You’re so full of bullshit, Rae.” 

“What do you want me to say, Abigail?” Clarke snaps.

“What I want is for you to stop waiting around like a lovesick puppy and either be honest with Scylla or get over it.” 

Raelle opens her mouth but Abigail raises her hand to stop her from speaking. 

“I love you, Rae, I truly do, but I’m so sick of seeing you so heartbroken every time she leaves. And she leaves every fucking time and we both know and maybe it’s time you face that reality.”

“I face that reality every time I have to close the door and watch her disappear, thank you very much!” 

Abigail’s expression softens and her hand reaches for Raelle’s on the table.

“You know what I mean.” she speaks gently this time. 

And Raelle knows. She knows too well what Abigail means and she’s right, but she’s not sure she can confront that now. 

“Can we just go back to Adil being a dickhead, please? I don’t want to talk about Scylla.”

Abigail sighs and nods. She’s willing to drop the conversation if that means Raelle will stop having that sad expression on her face, but she doesn’t leave her best friend’s hand for the rest of the night. 

And when Raelle squeezes back, Abigail knows she appreciates it just as much. 

*******

Raelle goes out with Libba. She has noticed her hanging at the hospital a few times before, when Raelle just happened to be the doctor in charge of her dad’s condition. 

She ends up hanging around the bar where Libba works, because it’s the only night of the week Raelle is free from her shifts and Libba insisted that she could get off earlier and find a co-worker to cover for her. 

Libba is nice and makes her laugh with all the stories she has from costumers in the past. She also knows how to make great drinks and Raelle is reminded of the fact that Scylla doesn’t like them and only goes for wine and occasionally beer — only freezing cold and only if there’s no other option — 

But she shouldn’t be thinking of Scylla somewhere in Singapore or Paris, because Scylla is not there with her and Libba is. 

Libba manages to really get off work early and offers to walk Raelle back home and kisses her in front of the door.

Raelle kisses her back but she's is grateful Libba doesn't ask her to go inside. She doesn’t care much about having sex with half a stranger really, but the thought of having sex on the same bed where Scylla last slept makes her sick to the stomach. 

Libba asks if they can go out again, for a real date this time and Raelle says yes without thinking twice and she wants to call Abgail and Tally and say “See? I can totally do this. This is fine. I am fine. Fine. FINE.”

But later, when she’s waiting for the silence of the night to lull her to sleep, she finds herself finally picking up the paperback Scylla has left and opens it for the first time. 

_"One Day"_

She decides she likes the title enough to give it a chance and it’s only when her eyelids drop heavily that Raelle realizes she has been reading for the past hour and a half. 

She's about to mark the page when something catches her attention. It’s a quote that Scylla has underlined with pencil — don’t ever use pen on books, that’s a crime, she always says — 

**_“You can live your whole life not realizing what you’re looking for is right in front of you.”_ **

*******

Scylla is deep in her second week of couch surfing in Thailand when she receives the email. 

It is not unusual to hear from Raelle randomly, Scylla knows that her schedule is busy and that Raelle likes to text her whenever she has long shifts for a bit of company, but it is strange to see the notification pop up instead of a text. 

A few links are attached to the email. They are photos of two-bedrooms flats in Raleigh and Scylla wonders just how much Raelle has been thinking about actually moving with her again. 

She’s at loss for words because this is not what she was expecting. 

But then she remembers the pangs in her chest every time she has to leave Raelle behind. And why the thought of waking up in Raelle’s arms makes her feel fuzzy inside?

Scylla prints the rental application and makes sure to put a reminder on her phone to fill it out before it’s due. 

*******

The next time she’s in Raleigh she’s not alone with Raelle. It’s okay though because it’s nice to have some friends around once in a while. 

Scylla spends so much time meeting new people, but the company rarely last for more than a few days or for how long it’s necessary. 

Traveling the world often means being alone and she’s at peace with it. She’s living her dream and that’s enough. 

Tally and Gerit break to everyone the news about their engagement proudly and Abigail is out with a new boy that she seems quite excited for everyone to meet.

Scylla doesn’t think much when Raelle offers to buy the next round of drinks, but there’s surprise all over her face when she notices one of the girls at the bar flirting with Raelle.

Abigail slides closer and bumps her shoulder against Scylla’s.

“It’s not nice to discover she cannot wait around forever, is it?” 

Scylla frowns, “What are you talking about?”

Abigail scoffs and shakes her head, “I always wonder when will you two stop being fools, but apparently it’s not the time yet.” 

She goes back to Tally’s side and Scylla cannot help but scooting a bit farther away in the booth when Raelle comes back. 

“Girl was eating you up, Rae!” Tally comments from the other end of the table. 

Raelle blushes and shrugs, “It’s just Libba guys, come on.” 

The first name basis tells Scylla more than she needs to know. 

*******

Scylla leaves the due date for the rental application pass and she’s not surprised when Raelle doesn’t write to her for more days in a row than usual. 

Maybe it’s for the best. 

She doesn’t want to settle in Raleigh anyway. Even if Raleigh means Raelle and Raelle means home. 

*******

Tally invites them for Christmas Eve’s dinner at her place and Scylla brings over food from all the parts of Europe she has visited in the last few months.

Raelle fills everyone’s glass with champagne and they split into two groups to help Tally finish off the decorations and dinner. 

They pass on the Christmas movie marathon, but Tally is firmly set on karaoke with only Christmas songs. Scylla hates them, but she cannot stop laughing when in turns they all butcher lyric after lyric until her belly aches and her head is buzzing for the alcohol. 

Abigail announces the midnight and they all wish each other Merry Christmas.

Tally gets on her tiptoes to kiss Gerit under the mistletoe and Scylla cannot help but quickly glance over her head. There’s no mistletoe, but she feels Raelle’s hand reaching for her own and tugging her closer, before intertwining their fingers together. 

And maybe, just maybe, Raelle thinks they are taking the right steps to close that stupid distance between them once and for all. 

*******

Scylla accepts to join Raelle on Christmas Day and Edwin welcomes her as if she’s part of the family already. 

Raelle reassures her that she surely is. 

The Collars all love her and Khalida, Raelle’s youngest cousin, begs to be brought along for one of Scylla’s trips. Scylla says yes and pretends not to notice Raelle blushing when Khalida tells her “Keep her around, she’s a good one.” 

Edwin insists for them to spend the night and, while there’s a perfect couch Scylla can sleep on, they end up choosing the bed in Raelle’s old room. 

It’s big enough for both, but somehow they curl up against each other leaving the space around them untouched. 

*******

Scylla is away for New Year’s Eve, but she calls Raelle at midnight, even if the phone crackles and she cannot hear much over the music. 

Raelle seems happy and drunk and her words are sloppy but Scylla tries her best to understand. 

There’s an “I miss you so fucking much” a “Wish you could be here” then “Why aren’t you here, Scyl?” and suddenly Raelle’s sobs are much sharper on the line and Scylla panics.

“Rae, maybe you should go back home…”

“Why the fuck do you have to be countries, continents even, away?”

Scylla swallows and tries again, “Do you have someone to drive you safely?”

But Raelle is not listening to her, “Why can’t here be enough? Why can’t I be enough for you?”

And Scylla feels her heart-shattering. She’s not sure of what’s happening anymore and the hole inside her chest widens. 

“Raelle, this is not the right moment to talk about it.” she manages to say, but the line falls and there’s only silence on the other side of the phone. 

She receives a text from Tally a few minutes later wishing her happy new year and telling that she’ll take care of Raelle for the rest of the night.

There’s no question or explanation to be given, but Scylla’s aware that Tally must know too. 

Whats Tally does know, Scylla is not sure though. 

What is there to know in the first place? She is not sure of that either. 

She packs her bags that night though, thinking that a bit of time with family might help her figure out what to do next. And she knows there’s always a free couch she can crash on at Byron’s place. 

*******

“I think it’s quite clear where Raelle stands really, I don’t know what you expect me to say.”

Byron is blunt, as usual, but Scylla needs that because she’s tired of going in circles. 

“I’m not sure a drunk confession can be the best way to determine that.” 

“Oh shut up, Scylla! The poor girl sent you pictures of apartments that you could rent together, she brought you to meet her family for Christmas — rude by the way that you were not with us — she cries when you have to leave… what else does she need to do?”

“But she’s also seeing other people…” Scylla frowns, “at least she was seeing that girl last time I checked.”  


Byron rolls her eyes and puts away the paperwork he was working on, giving his full attention to his cousin. 

“And what do you think she should do, uh? Wait around and pretend she doesn’t have a life of her own?”

“I never said that-”

“But that’s your problem, Scylla, you never say anything.”

Scylla shakes her head, not sure of what to do anymore. 

“Raelle knows I care about her more than anyone else.”

Byron tilts his head to the side, “Wow, first of all bitch, and second… have you tried showing her that?”

“I show her that every time I see her!” Scylla defends. 

“But you always leave, Scylla.” Byron’s words hit her like a slap to the face, “And maybe, just for once, Raelle wants you to stay.” 

*******

Raelle spends January on a roll with the new shifts at the hospital and she joins Abigail in helping Tally as much as she can with the wedding arrangements. 

She puts a stop to her flirt with Libba — or whatever that was — because the woman deserves someone who knows what they want and Raelle cannot be that person for her.

The New Year’s Eve call is still etched inside her brain and, although she puked everything out that night and exhaustion had the best over her, Raelle remembers every single word of her conversation with Scylla. 

*******

Raelle sheds a few tears when Tally says “I do” and Scylla gently brushes them off without ruining her makeup. Raelle smiles through her glossy eyes at her and doesn’t object when Scylla leans closer to her side. 

“I’m so happy for them.” 

Scylla nods by her side, “Me too, feels like they’ve been in love since forever.” 

“Do you ever wish for something like that one day?”

Scylla nods again and this time a sweet smile curves her full lips.

“Yeah… at some point. I don’t think I wanna live this nomadic life forever. I love it, I truly do, but I guess there’s beauty in knowing some things won’t change tomorrow and growing up with the right person by your side.”

Raelle refuses to read too much into it, but Scylla keeps glancing at her through the rest of the day and finds ways to be around her and Raelle doesn’t mind one bit. 

But if Scylla truly meant what she said, then why does it always feel like she’s just passing through?

They dance together and Raelle winces when the words of the song hit her.

_— You the type I wanna spend my whole life with_

_But not the one I spent tonight with_

_We're just in two different places, you gotta face it —_

Scylla seems to sense that Raelle’s tensing in her arms and she tightens her grip on the blonde’s hips, nuzzling the tip of her nose against the shell of her ear. 

“I’m here, Rae. I’m here.”

*******

Raelle breaks it to her during a FaceTime call. 

Scylla is battling with the poor wifi service at the hostel she’s spending the night in and it’s morning in Raleigh and Raelle’s running up and down her apartment to get ready for her shift at the hospital. 

“What did you say? I can’t hear you well.” 

Raelle finally settles in front of the computer and pauses her movements. 

“I said that I’m thinking about moving away.” 

Scylla thinks the image is frozen, but it appears to be just Raelle anxiously waiting for her response. 

“Oh?” it comes out more like a question than Scylla intends for it to be. 

“Yeah…” Raelle nods, worrying her lower lip with her teeth.

“Uh- where are you thinking?”

“Boston. I’ve talked with a co-worker, Glory, which is also Tally’s friend and, she made me think about a transfer. She’s thinking of doing it as well to be closer to her partner. And she gave me numbers and emails to contact a hospital and I’ve got good reasons to believe they would accept my request to move there.” 

“But you don’t have anyone there.” Scylla immediately grimaces at how bad that sounds and shakes her head, “Sorry, I didn’t mean it in a bad way, I’m just- surprised I guess.” 

Raelle rolls her eyes good-naturedly. She knows that Scylla means well and she understands where the confusion might be coming from. 

Raelle has become steady in her life in the last few years. She knows what she wants and she knows it takes planning to get there. She’s no sudden departures or moves; she enjoys having a space she can call her own and roots somewhere she feels safe. 

“You of all people should know how to adapt to new situations.” Raelle clicks her tongue, “I just- I think I need this. Have a fresh start in a new place, you know? After the death of my mom I thought I had to remain in Raleigh to be close to my dad, but the more I go the more I realize that’s not the truth. Boston is beautiful and I can always come back to Raleigh if I miss my family or the place.”

“What about Tally and Abigail?”

Raelle chuckles, “They have already made a possible schedule of days and months when we could visit each other.” 

Scylla nods, that sounds like them. 

And then, “What about the apartment we were looking for us?”

Raelle’s face drops and Scylla suddenly wishes she could take the words back. 

“You didn’t fill out the application, you didn’t even respond to the email saying that you were not interested.”

“Raelle I-”

“For us?” Raelle spits back through gritted teeth, “What did you do for us, Scylla?”

“I just thought it wouldn’t make sense to get an apartment if I’m not there and you were seeing Libba and-”

“So Libba was the problem now?”

“That’s not what I said.”

“No, I know what you said, Scylla. And you’re right, you’re not here, so what difference does it make if I’m in Boston or Raleigh? You’re always just passing through my life anyway.” 

The wifi stops working before Scylla can reply and she finds herself staring back at the empty screen of the computer. 

The thought of leaving Raelle heartbroken splits her inside and suddenly she can’t even remember exactly where she is or what she’s doing. 

The freedom of traveling and discovering new places tastes a bit like ashes in her mouth if she cannot share her life with Raelle as well. 

And Raelle never asked her to stop doing what she loves, but she cannot love someone who’s always running away. 

— _What did you do for us, Scylla?_ —

Scylla knows the things she has not done for them.

But she knows what she wants to do now.

*******

Raelle goes out to dinner with Glory and Tally and she finally feels good like she hasn’t in a long time. 

Abigail would kill them if she knew that, but Raelle’s not planning on telling her.

She decides to request her transfer by the end of the night and Glory promises her that everything will be okay and she’ll be there if Raelle needs a friend. 

*******

Scylla invites her to a gallery opening in Philadelphia where some of her works will be the main feature of the night. 

Byron is also going and he offers Raelle to travel together. 

Byron’s presence makes Raelle feel calm and comforted, somehow he even makes her feel close to Scylla. And although the cousins are different in many ways, Byron’s presence is just as steady when he places a hand on Raelle’s bumping knee, reassuring her that everything will be okay. 

*******

The exhibition is so beautiful and intense that Raelle can almost feel whatever Scylla was feeling while taking the pictures. 

There’s just a way that Scylla has to pour her heart into everything she loves that makes Raelle feel part of it.

She cannot help the bitter smile though, because what Scylla loves is also what’s keeping her away and Raelle suddenly feels selfish for all the times she asked Scylla to stay. 

“A penny for your thoughts?”

Raelle startles at the sound of the familiar voice and turns around to be greeted by the familiar charming smile. 

“Hello stranger.” Raelle greets her with a smile just as big. 

At that moment it doesn’t matter how things between them ended during their last conversation, Raelle is just happy to see her again.

And if her heart skips a beat, well that’s her business only. 

“I’m glad you could make it.” Scylla says softly, pouring both of them a glass of champagne and handing one to Raelle. 

“Of course, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” she takes a sip, “Tally also wanted to be here, but work’s being a bitch on her. Abigail also sends her best regards and a ‘go get it girl’, if we want to be specific.” 

Scylla chuckles and steps closer, not enough to invade Raelle’s inner personal space, but enough for the blonde to take a deep breath and inhale her scent.

“Raelle, look, I’m sorry for how things-“ Scylla sighs, “during that call, when you told me about Boston, there were so many things that I wish I could’ve said and-”

“Scylla.” Raelle places a hand on Scylla’s shoulder and tries to give her a reassuring smile, “It’s okay, I get it. I shouldn’t have reacted that way… I know you meant well.” 

But Scylla shakes her head and Raelle’s hand drops.

“No, that’s not- you were right, and I’m sorry about it. You said I was always passing through your life and that made me realize how empty that is, how empty that leaves us.”

This time it’s Raelle’s turn to sigh, a veil of confusion descends in her eyes. 

“But that’s your life…” 

“What if I don’t want that anymore? What if I don’t want to leave you again? What if I don’t want us to feel like that again?”

“Stop. Stop, please.” 

Raelle takes a step back and extends an arm between them. Scylla remains frozen to her spot, anxiously swallowing down and waiting to meet Raelle’s eyes again. 

When she does, she finds a steely resolution behind those blue pools, but also the same sadness that she has vowed to never bring Raelle again. 

“You say all of these things and then in a couple of days you’ll be on the other side of the world.”

Scylla shakes her head again.

“I told you at the wedding, I said that at some point I’d stop, that being with the right person beside me was worth it even more.”

Raelle tries to ignore the frantic beats of her heart or she’s sure her chest might explode with the implication behind those words. 

“And is this the right moment? Here, now, while I am surrounded by all the things that took you away from me?”

Scylla steps closer again and Raelle doesn’t stop her this time. 

“Behind each one of these pictures there are a thousand I miss you, and wishes that I could have you closer, hold your hand, just breathing the same air even,” Raelle takes a steadying breath, “but I also see the love, the passion, the happiness that brought you in each of these places, and I’d hate to think of me as someone stopping you from doing this, Scyl.”

“But you’re not stopping me, Rae. You didn’t ask for me to do this. I’m telling you that I am choosing it. I choose you.” 

Raelle opens her mouth to speak, but someone in the crowd calls Scylla’s name. 

Scylla quickly turns around to locate the voice, but then brings her attention back to Raelle again. 

There’s a bittersweet smile on her lips now and Scylla wants nothing more than to kiss Raelle, to show more than just tell her, to give her everything they both want and- “Ms. Ramshorn?”

Raelle exhales and her fingers stroke Scylla’s right arm, covered by the white shirt.

“You should get that, might be some millionaire ready to pay for all of your works.”

“Raelle-”

“And I,” Raelle continues, not bothered by the interruption, “I should go.”

“Rae-“ Scylla tries again without success. 

The man finally finds her and taps her shoulder and when Scylla turns around again, Raelle is already nowhere to be seen.

*******

Byron rolls his eyes at Raelle for the theatrics she pulled at the exhibition, but doesn’t blame her and offers his shoulder as comfort on the flight back. 

Raelle doesn’t say much, but Byron knows and the silence between them is comfortable enough. 

It’s only when they’re on the shared taxi driving home that Raelle finally speaks again. 

“Do you and Porter truly always want the same things?”

“What?” Byron asks confused. 

“I mean… is that how it works? Wanting the same things? Settling for them?”

Byron scoffs half-amused and shakes his head. 

“I think you’re old enough to know that you shouldn’t believe rom coms, Raelle.”

Raelle glares at him and Byron sighs, raising his hands in surrender. 

“No, it’s not like that.” he starts again, more seriously this time, “I mean, I guess for some people it can be like that, but that’s not all there is. Him and I don’t always want the same things, but we always want each other, we choose each other, so that the rest becomes something we can face together. At times that’s all it takes. You don’t settle, it’s a conscious choice you make every day. It doesn’t mean it’s easy or that it will always work perfectly, but… if that’s what you and Scylla want, then you should just stop finding excuses not to be together and just… be together.”

“We don’t find excuses,” Raelle defended, “we are just at different points in our lives.”

Byron shrugs, “Maybe so, but these different points still bring you back to each other. The least you both can do is to stop looking back at the time you’ve lost and focus on what is still to come.”

*******

Raelle goes back to her routine in Raleigh, still waiting to hear back from the hospital in Boston. 

Tally and Abigail both ask her about the trip and Raelle tells them about everything that happened. She doesn’t keep secrets from her two best friends.

“Dramatic, as usual,” Abigail comments, “but I don’t understand why you just didn’t throw yourself in her arms? You know… if you want her so badly or whatever.”

Raelle rolls her eyes and scoffs, she knows Abigail is not Scylla’s biggest fan, “Because we both need to figure things out.”

Abigail bites her lower lip and avoids one of her sarcastic comments Raelle is so used to hear. 

Instead, she exchanges a gaze with Tally and she’s serious when she nods, “Make sure you both do it this time because, for all it’s worth it, we’re rooting for you two.”

*******

Scylla calls her only a few days later, while Raelle is enjoying a sushi night out with Tally and Glory to celebrate her transfer. 

Tally catches the name on the screen and gives Raelle a suggestive raise of eyebrows. 

“You better take that.” 

Raelle smiles gratefully and walks fast towards the quietest corner of the restaurant. 

“Hello?” she anxiously replies before the phone can stop ringing. 

“Hey Rae…” there is some shuffling on the other side of the line and then, “is this a good moment, can we talk?”

Raelle sends a glance at her table where Tally and Glory are busy in a new conversation.

“I’m out for dinner, but yes, we can talk.” 

“Oh… are you sure?” Scylla seems hesitant. 

“I’m sure.”

“Okay, yeah.” Scylla makes a pause and Raelle shifts the weight from one leg to the other, “Look, I just wanted to talk about what happened in Philly, I didn’t mean for things to end badly or-”

“I’m sorry too.” Raelle cuts in, “Scyl, it was not your fault, and I get it why you were telling me all of that, I just-… I don’t want you to stop doing what you love because of me.”

They both remain silent for a few seconds.

“But? I feel a but coming.” Scylla breaks the silence. 

Raelle sighs, “But I also cannot stop my life every time you’re around, hoping for something that’s barely there.” 

“Us.”

“What?” Raelle asks, confused at the hushed reply.

“You said something, but you mean us, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Raelle clears her throat, “us.” 

“I’m sure of what I want, Raelle, if that’s what scares you.” Scylla states.

Raelle is taken aback for a moment and there’s only silence hanging on the line.

Then, “And what do you want?”

“You. Us. To truly be together and not just spend time together.” 

The promise in Scylla’s tone half scares Raelle, but it also makes her heart beat faster and it becomes impossible to contain the smile. 

“You mean it?”

Scylla chuckles on the other end of the phone, “I’m coming back home, Rae.”

“But I’m moving away from Raleigh, I’ve got the job in Boston.”

There’s a pause and Raelle almost thinks that Scylla is ready to take everything back, but then she hears the soft sound of Scylla’s laugh. The one that makes Raelle shiver and always wishes she could be with the woman she loves in that same moment. 

“I don’t care about the city, Rae. Home is wherever you are. I’m coming back to you.” 

*******

Raelle has never been one for big hopes or carefree optimism, that was something Tally was good at, but now - suddenly - she was looking at the world differently. 

Scylla really meant what she said and she was coming back, maybe for good, Raelle couldn’t bring herself to care much about the details. As long as they were on the same wavelength now, she knew they could make it work. 

So maybe optimism was not exactly her things, but how else was she supposed to feel when the universe seemed to be smiling back at least for once?

*******

She moves from Raleigh to Boston with her dad’s help. 

“I always kind of knew you would go away one day.”

Raelle frowns, “I thought you were happy that I was in Raleigh.” 

“Of course I was happy to have you close to me, but… Raleigh never felt like your last stop, as if you were meant for a greater place and better things. I think Boston would do you good.” 

“Dad, I won’t be alone here, you know. And Tally has already booked a flight to come visit me as soon as I’m all settled.” 

Edwin Collar raises his hand in surrender, “Just making sure my little girl is safe and sound,” he pulls Raelle close for a hug, “and happy.” 

Raelle smiles against her father’s shoulder and tightenss her hold.

Edwin doesn’t miss his daughter’s muffled answer, “Scylla is coming back.”

He has seen first hand how much they matter to one another and, just as always, he supports Raelle in what makes her happy. 

“You always have a home wherever I am, never forget that, Rae. I’m sure your mother would be proud of you as well.” 

Raelle cannot know that for certain, but she hopes it is true. 

*******

Scylla stops for a while to visit Byron and the rest of her family. 

After all, she does feel the pull of home after such a long time.

It’s good to feel family warmth, the usual camaraderie, and the same - even if older - faces. 

Byron gives her shit, like an older brother would, about her decision to follow Raelle to Boston, but Scylla’s far too happy to be bothered by it. 

She spends time with both Byron and Porter, reminiscing the time when Porter had a massive crush on her. 

“Remind me again what were you thinking?” Byron mocks good-naturedly and Scylla slaps his arm. 

“Hey! He had fine taste.”

“Clearly.” Byron indicates himself. 

Porter just shakes his head at the duo and laughs along. 

It feels good to be home, but Scylla cannot help feeling how much she misses Raelle by her side.

*******

Scylla takes her time to come back but Raelle understands. They both need to make sure they’re taking this next step for the right reasons. She wants to figure out exactly what she wants and Raelle needs to do the same.

They keep communicating though. A few texts here and there and a surprisingly regular schedule of calls. Raelle tells her about Boston and all the new things she’s trying and how much Tally enjoyed it on her visit. And Scylla listens to her excitement, through the plans Raelle wants to make and the places she wants Scylla to see. 

With anyone else it would be different, suffocating even, but with Raelle those things taste like the promise of a bright future and a different freedom. 

One where they can be who they truly are and still being together. 

*******

It’s going out one day that Raelle nearly has a heart attack.

Scylla is looking around the street like a lost puppy and it’s only when she spots Raelle that her face lights up with a huge grin. 

“Finally!”

She cuts the distance between them and immediately wraps Raelle in a hug.

The blonde remains completely still, too taken by surprise to actually function properly. 

“What do you mean finally? What are you doing here?”

Scylla laughs it off the shocked tone in Raelle’s voice and shrugs.

“Took me a while to get here and Tally forgot to mention the house number.”

“Tally? She knew about this?”

“I wanted it to be a surprise.”

Raelle blinks a few times and she has to clear her throat before she can speak again. 

“Scyl, I don’t know what to say…”

Scylla tilts her head to the side and offers another cheeky smile, “Just tell me if the offer about living together still stands.”

Only then Raelle notices the big suitcase next to Scylla and her hopeful gaze.

She closes the distance between them and, wrapping her arms around Scylla’s neck, she pulls her down for a kiss. 

It doesn’t matter that they’re standing in the middle of the street and it doesn’t matter that everything is so sudden that Raelle’s world is spinning. 

They’re exactly where they’ve always supposed to be. Together. 

*******

Boston feels like home right away and Raelle suspects it has to do with waking up with Scylla between her arms. 

Or sneaking kisses in the morning while getting ready for work. 

Or when they suddenly decide to go out for a date night. 

Or when their kisses become too much and Scylla is backing them both towards the bedroom.

*******

Raelle likes the new hospital and she starts to make friends almost immediately. 

Some days she still finds herself counting for how long Scylla is staying around. 

But when she gets back to the apartment and finds Scylla cooking dinner, greeting her with a peck on the lips, Raelle is glad to lose the count. 

*******

Scylla gets offered a lab job from a woman called Izadora, fascinated by all her traveling and individual study of botanics on the field. She talks like it’s no big deal, but Raelle can see how proud of it she is. 

Seeing Scylla happy, finding her space in a completely new environment, is one of Raelle’s favorite discoveries. She’s in awe of how curiously and attentively Scylla looks and cherishes new things and places. 

She still takes pictures and she still sells them. Some get hanged on the walls of their apartment and Raelle just happens to be in a lot of them now.

*******

They’re having a picnic at the public gardens when Raelle asks her.

“Do you ever regret it?”

Scylla tries to catch a grape with her mouth and fails before finally answering, “Regret what?”

She tries again, this time she succeeds and claps to herself. Raelle finds her adorable and cannot help a giggle before resuming her questions.

“Putting a stop to the traveling and settling down.”

Scylla bites her lower lip and shakes her head. 

“No, I don’t. Look, Rae, being here with you right now is the best thing in my life. I loved being out there, I truly did, and I won’t kid you, sometimes it does feel like the world is calling out to me again, but regret it? No, I don’t regret a single thing.”

Raelle nods, relieved, and grateful for Scylla’s understanding. 

“I really liked though when you would bring me around Raleigh and North Carolina, discovering new places I wasn’t even aware of.”

Scylla hums in agreement.

“There’s quite a lot to explore around here as well, you know.” she adds and Scylla picks up the hint Raelle is throwing at her. 

“When do you have your next break from your shifts at the hospital?”

*******

They both know that some things will never change. 

Like Raelle blasting her music during her days off and Scylla picking her favorite corner of the house to use as her own private studio and reading room. She’s usually alone in there, but sometimes Raelle joins her and what starts as a quiet afternoon, soon escalates to heated make-out sessions. 

Raelle used to think that they had a lot of catch up to do with the time spent apart in their lives, but she quickly realizes that they’ve always been there. 

Physical distance doesn’t mean separation. And just as Scylla always came back to her, Raelle was also always going back to Scylla. 

*******

Tally and Abigail FaceTime Raelle regularly and it’s easy for them to include Scylla in their usual routine. 

Abigail yells “About damn time!” and Tally promises she’ll soon schedule flights for both of them.

Byron drops in one day with the excuse to see Scylla.

“It’s almost sad to see the empty drawers I gave you at my place.”

Scylla laughs carefree, “Happens when you get your own home, B.” 

He ends up crashing on their living room’s sofa for the whole weekend, and Raelle takes some time off work to join the cousins in some last-minute plans.

*******

Scylla picks her up from work one day in the new second-hand car they bought and decided to share. 

It’s mostly Scylla’s though because Raelle often rides with Glory or uses the subway. Raelle thinks it kinda makes sense as well since Scylla’s always been the wanderer between the two of them. 

Raelle is tired from her shift and Scylla encourages her to doze off for the ride, turning up the heaters in the car so Raelle can relax comfortably. 

When they reach their destination, Scylla wakes her up with a sweet peck on the lips. 

Raelle blinks a few times and focuses her attention on the woman in front of her. The woman she loves and chooses every day.

“We back?”

Scylla nods. 

“It seemed such a long road home.” 

Scylla smiles at her sleepy voice and offers a hand to pull Raelle closer.

“It was, but we’re home now.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you've reached the end well then... I hope it was a fun ride :')
> 
> Little box of curiosities:
> 
> \- I am not American so the places described in the story might not be entirely accurate, even though the descriptions are not too detailed. I did, however, researched them on google and they really exist in those cities. 
> 
> \- A few of the looks that I've imagined for Scylla while writing were borrowed from Amalia's portrayal of Nico in Den Sista Sommaren, so check that out if you want to have a better idea, but of course feel free to imagine Scylla as you want. 
> 
> \- The mention of Europe, Sweden and Norway is a nod to Amalia's origins.
> 
> \- I know that Necros don't exactly deal with plants in MFS, but I just liked to imagine a possible connection between the two, and I liked to give Scylla a passion more than just traveling around. 
> 
> \- As you might have guessed, the idea of Libba and Raelle having a thing was mostly suggested by the scene in the show where Raelle calls her cute.
> 
> \- The song mentioned at the wedding is Forever (the stripped version) by Fletcher.
> 
> \- Boston is a nod to where MFS takes place.
> 
> \- There is not a specific reason why I wanted Byron and Scylla to be cousins, it was mostly to create a bond and 'circle' between the various characters.
> 
> \- For once Porter doesn't die and it's a decent human being, plus I think a trio of Byron, Poter and Scylla taking the piss out of each other would be quite funny so there it goes. 
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to read this, I truly appreciate it, and I hope you liked it.
> 
> Lots of love and see ya!


End file.
